America and Britain are World Police - so why not help out in Zimbabwe?

I have often wondered why, if the U.S. and Britain are so hell-bent on spreading democracy, freedom and general good things across the world, they don't simply invade any countries with problems. Take Zimbabwe, for example. Here's a kind of solution which I think the U.S. and the U.K. ought to pose to Zimbabwe:

Dear Mr. Mugabe,
We, the coalition of Britain and the United States of America, have noted with deep regret the widespread reports of various civil and political human rights abuses throughout Zimbabwe, in particular against opponents of the government. We'd like you to know that we fully deplore all human rights abuses within the country, with particular reference to the arrest, torture and mistreatment of 15 trade union activists in Zimbabwe on September 23, 2006. We, being the great multinational imperialistic superpowers that we are, have observed that Zimbabwe’s economy is in a state of hyperinflation, with an inflation rate of 1,593.6% in January 2007, and in our opinion that's causing real issues for your poor old citizens.

In fact, being brutally honest, we think your whole regime is corrupt and we don't think you're very good at doing the whole fair, free democracy thing. That's why we've decided to take matters into our own hands.

That's right Mr. Mugabe, we're gonna invade. Unless you do the following: (N.B. if you don't want to read this bit, it's a list of stuff we want you to do to stop human rights abuses within your country, most of which we know you're at best unlikely to comply with)

• Take all necessary steps to ensure that the police, armed forces, and other security forces in Zimbabwe abide by Zimbabwe’s obligations under international law, including respect for the rights to freedom from arbitrary arrest and detention, and from torture and other mistreatment.

• Acknowledge and condemn excessive use of force on the part of police and other security officials during demonstrations that have taken place in the past year.

• In accordance with the Zimbabwean constitution, ensure that all persons taken into custody are brought before a judge within 48 hours and have the right of access to family members and legal counsel, in addition to other due process rights.

• Publicly condemn the use of torture and cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment by police officers and other law enforcement agencies, including through a public information campaign to increase awareness that torture is forbidden under Zimbabwean and international law.

• Conduct independent investigations into all allegations of arbitrary arrest and detention, excessive use of force, and torture and cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment by police and intelligence officials. All those who are implicated in such abuses, whatever their rank, should be disciplined or prosecuted as appropriate.

• Establish an independent civilian police body to investigate complaints against the Zimbabwe Republic Police.

• Provide appropriate training to police and other security forces on human rights standards and the rule of law. Ensure that the training curriculum for police includes comprehensive training on human rights issues, such as non-violent methods of crowd control and the appropriate use of force. All training must be consistent with international human rights standards, such as the United Nations Code of Conduct for Law Enforcement Officials and the Basic Principles on the Use of Force and Firearms by Law Enforcement Officials.

• Ratify the Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, and request a visit to Zimbabwe by the UN special rapporteur on torture.

• Issue invitations to the UN special rapporteur on the promotion and protection of the right to freedom of opinion and expression, the special representative of the UN secretary-general on the situation of human rights defenders, and the African Commission special rapporteur on human rights defenders.

• Respect the rights of human rights defenders to do their work in the promotion of human rights, as articulated in the Declaration on the Right and Responsibility of Individuals, Groups and Organs of Society to Promote and Protect Universally Recognized Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms.

• Repeal or amend all national legislation that is incompatible with international human rights law and standards, including the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights. In particular, repeal or substantially amend repressive provisions of the Public Order and Security Act.

So, Rob (if you don't mind the informal tone). There you have it, buddy. Sort that stuff out, and we'll leave you alone. With love, Tony & George
xxx


...So why don't they do it? I'll tell you: NO OIL IN ZIMBABWE!